wtf

Strange search terms

One of my favorite parts of blogging (aside from, you know, sharing my OUTRAGEOUSLY USEFUL KNOWLEDGE with the world) is occasionally checking out how people have found my blog through search engines. The results always range from “yeah, that makes sense” to “WTF”.

Ignoring the obvious (“pollyheath”, “american girl in moscow”, and the like), here are a smattering of my top search terms:

“esl teacher sochi” – Above is a picture of me in Sochi. Not teaching… I feel bad for all the people that I’ve somehow tricked. I’m an ESL teacher and I’ve been to Sochi, but never have I been an ESL teacher in Sochi. Oops.

“american boy swimsuit” – WTF. Fourth most searched term. How? Why? I have so many questions…

“low price kitsch” – I mean, I haven’t been trying to be super classy, but jeez. I assume they’re searching and found my Izmailovo post, and that Google isn’t insinuating that I’m kitschy. Or low priced.

“reasons why a hedgehog is an awsome pet” – Obvious. Who doesn’t want a spiky, anti-social creature living in their second bedroom?!

“buy avocados in moscow” – Clearly many other expats are depressed by a lack of avocados in Moscow.

“incorrect girl in moscow” – :(

WordPress also unhelpfully includes 100+ labeled “unknown search terms” — what are they?!

Spill: if you have a blog, what’s your weirdest search term? It’s gotta be good, there are a lot of weirdos in the world!

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34 thoughts on “Strange search terms

  1. Seriously? Hedgehogs and American boys in swimsuits! Ha ha! Some of mine were funny, one wasn’t so funny. ‘Getting fat’ and ‘Getting fat games’ made me chuckle as did ‘macaque attacks’ and ‘macaque teeth’. I wasn’t so pumped about ‘drunk ang moh guys in clarke quay’. Ang mo is a Cantonese term that literally means ‘red hair’ and was used way back to denote white people in a sort of derogatory. Now, it’s commonly used in Singapore and not necessarily in a derogatory way but no one searching for that could’ve been looking for anything nice. Still, I had no idea I could do this so thank you for the tip and for the laughs!!

    1. Oh no, gingers even get hate in Singapore! No rest for the soul-less, I suppose. I also had one or two obviously anti-foreigner search terms pop up, but a lot of them are just quite strange. Glad I could give you a little laugh!

  2. Let’s see…off the top of my head, I’ve had quite a few searching for a “multilingual porn woman” … and one my my absolute faves ever was “Went abroad didn’t like it shan’t go there again”, lol.

    1. re “muntilingual porn woman” – I think it’s fantastic that people want to combine pleasure and education! We should have more of it.

      re “went abroad” – you wonder if they were looking for juicy stories or just affirmations that it was ok not to go abroad…

  3. LOL I loved the one about avocados! Please, let me know if you find it out :D
    My favourite one: “Laura Morales es gato?” (“Is Laura Morales cat?”) WTF!! Well, yes, my name is Laura Morales and the answer is no, I’m NOT A CAT :/ But still I don’t understand the question…

    1. Avocados are so hit or miss here. Almost everywhere sells them, but 70% of the time they’re just rocks.

      I’m glad to know (but a bit disappointed) that you’re not a cat.

  4. But, seriously. What are they??! We get a whole lot of searches with ‘hipster’ in it. …? I did get one for ‘back mama’ (I can’t decide if that’s better than american boy in swimsuit…actually, nevermind. just typing that creeped me out.) and yesterday had one for ‘can i park my car in front of my driveway’…I hope they found their answer.

  5. Just had a look at mine for this month and got: ‘sometimes you really cant tell people how you feel’ okay,’escort girl novosibirsk yulia’ oh dear.., ‘people squashed into public transport’ lol ‘sibiria girls in ski resort photos’ specific!

  6. A lot of people are googled over to me via “Ugly nude women” and its maniacal variations. That’s a bit worrying, though I know which post is responsible.

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